If you are thinking of buying your first home, you should take steps right now to prevent the buyer's remorse you are bound to experience. So, take out a pen right now and draw a line down the centre of a pageā?¦
"Buyers' remorse" is a very common emotional response to the future changes new homebuyers perceive. We humans fear the unknown. And change, of any kind, is just a great big unknown to us. The secret of overcoming this after-purchase fear, like any other unknown, is to gather as much information as we might need to feel more comfortable about our decision. Remember, buying a home is a conscious decision, and it is possible for you to learn enough right now to choose to buy or not. So, don't wait until it is too late to turn back!
Blind Excitement
While in hot pursuit of your dream home, the excitement about your dreams of future happiness will be the overpowering emotion that drives your actions. Researching neighbourhoods, searching through adverts, viewing numerous "nice" and as many less appealing homes will occupy all of your time and energy. This is the really good part about buying a home.
Full of imagination and optimism for the future, you wander about each home envisioning a happy and contented life for you and your family. You will most probably never even consider the less positive things about owning your own real estate.
This house is "too big", the next one is "too small", and another one would be perfect if it was just in a different neighbourhood. Eventually you will find the property that seems "just right" for you. So, you dig in like a proper Goldilocks and make an offer. After and anxious wait, you excitedly accept the Seller's counter-offer. And the next morning, you wake up in what feels like a stranger's bed, with angry bears growling down at you, and you feel like running and running and running, until your legs fall off!
A Sinking Feeling
All the congratulations and champagne from yesterday's celebrations are suddenly forgotten, because you just know you made the biggest mistake in the history of humankind! Your palms are sweaty, your neck is stiff, and even though you haven't eaten a thing, you have to rush to the toilet continuously. Your dream home has suddenly turned into a horrible nightmare!
Your buyer's remorse might not exactly turn out to be that bad, but you will experience that dreaded buyers' remorse in some form or another. You may just slightly wonder if you made the right decision. You might think, "I should have offered R10 000 less", or your loving partner may be the one with the big buyer's remorse, threatening to leave if you don't stop this "horrible mess".
The doubtful thoughts of buyer's remorse will intrude, somehow: Can you afford it? Is it the right time to buy? Should you rather have waited? What will happen if you lose your job? What if this happens? What if that happens?
Before I married my beautiful wife, I signed a purchase agreement for a house that was much too big for the two of us. But the price was great, and the location incredible, so I went ahead. But the tension between the two of us was scary. And she wasn't even a party to the sale!
Big Mistakes
I have seen a normally level-headed, adult, professional woman back out of a contract of sale, risking breach of contract penalties of R60 000, because a R252 000 house needed some painting on the inside. Luckily another buyer stepped up, helping her avoid the breach of contract penalties. But that same house was sold again the following year for R575 000. I would have bought the property myself, had I been able to get another mortgage in time. Everything was just right about this property. But the buyer's remorse, combined with some bad advice from an inexperienced parent, got the upper hand.
Buyer's remorse is a normal response to the changes and uncertainty that comes with buying a home. You have just entered into one of the most important financial contracts of your life. It can be downright scary if logic deserts you and the worries take over.
Make A List
So, take your pen and paper right now, and calmly and logically think of all possible advantages to buying a home and write them down on one side of the page. Now list all the disadvantages on the other side of the line. Really consider the items you've listed under "Negatives". Can you see any way to handle this situation, should it arise? If you can find a positive solution, add this to the list as well.
Stick your list on the fridge, and review it regularly. Look at it every time before you leave home for a property viewing. If some new information comes to your attention, amend your list.
This may sound silly to you now, but it can save you a lot of anguish when the time comes to actually buy that new home. So, when the buyer's remorse strikes, remember your list?
Review When Buyer's Remorse Sets In
Back when you were thinking semi-logically, you were still fairly positive about home ownership, so read the list and find out why. You catalogued the good and the bad, weighed them against each other, and decided that buying a home was the smart thing to do. But if you have any new information now, write this in a different colour, so you can clearly see what has suddenly changed your mind.
I bet you wouldn't be able to add one single item to your pre-buyer's remorse list. But reviewing the list will help to resolve your buyer's remorse. I cannot guarantee that you will be totally stress-free, but it will help.
Cure Buyer's Remorse Before It Starts
Err, even after reading this prediction of buyer's remorse doom, you are already telling yourself, "This guy must be crazy!" And of course, in spite of this good advice, you will probably not take the time to make a list right now.
Yes, hardly anyone ever does it, anyway. So, when the big bad buyer's remorse is growling down at you where you just woke up in Baby Bear's bed, here is what you do: Get a piece of paper and draw a line down the centre...
